The fancy colors get a bit busted when exporting the google docs file and then opening back up in google docs so the in app link is preferred while the xlsx file is just for backup.Īlthough I tried to make this first public release a solid starting point, I look forward to hearing any input. An example would be having a core set of likes, but interested in doing shibari with one person yet would rather look into spanking with a different person.įormat wise I tried to make an older 2003 format one so more versions could open and use it. This is a common want with varying activity interest depending on play partners. Another big plus is once one is filled out, it is easy to adjust and make new variants. I went ahead and left out extreme stuff such as bestiality since typically illegal, however thanks to the Excel format it is easy for anyone to add something they feel is missing. Just skip around to the sections that interest you to share about with others. My main advice would be to hang in there and not feel like everything has to be filled out. I wanted to make sure to have the core list overall complete, but this may come off as a bit much to beginners. This way one can quickly see the Loves and Hates then go back for a second pass for finer detail. It may look busy at first, but the color coding really helps making the checklist scan-able for key information. The notes section can be really handy to give a quick declaration of why one gave the interest level for said item or clarify special circumstances. For a while it was considered mostly just accounting type software, but now thanks to Google Docs and other online systems the Excel file format is much more accessible.Īs for the main layout I wanted to make sure someone could declare interest, existing experience, and then a section for notes to clarify any particulars. Ranging from pdfs, to doc files, to websites, they all were pretty much a mess and then it came to me that trying to use an Excel file was a no brainer. On my research to find a decent preexisting checklist it seemed something was always missing, they weren't always easy to share, and the data on a completed checklist wasn't always easy to review. Using Excel as the main platform it may come off a bit nerdy, however the format is much easier to open and use these days. William Lynch, Will Sex Coach Yes, No, Maybe Checklist: Ī.E.After scouring the net and generally not being satisfied with any checklists out there I took matters in my own hands to make one that would be an obvious improvement. It all just starts with honest communication and an adventuresome spirit! When providing this list to clients, go through the list with them to ensure they know what each item is-the only thing worse than jumping into something new is signing up for something you don’t understand (Anyone who’s ever signed a home security system contract knows this all too well)! For example, does your client know all of these terms: anal plug, prostate massage, bondage tape, rimming, pet play, cunnilingus, hot wax, nipple clamps, or sounding?Įducation is key to practicing risk-aware consensual kink. If they’ve already begun exploring kink, step right up to a hardcore list. For those who are just starting to wander outside the borders of vanilla sex, recommend a “lite” version of the list. There are dozens of versions of the list on the internet, written by other sexologists, sex therapists, kink-aware professionals, and those in the BDSM lifestyle. You can build your own list, or use a pre-existing one (examples are linked below). It’s important to note that you and your clients are not limited by the items on the list-it’s merely a conversation starter and to prompt you with new ideas. The goal of the checklist is to open the lines of communication between partners. This activity also provides the perfect opportunity to bring up new kinks, fantasies, and activities that they’ve always been wanting to discuss, but never had the opportunity or courage to do so. It’s important to have them fill out the list without discussing it together to eliminate any perceived pressure from their partner(s) to answer in a specific way. All partners in the relationship should complete the checklist separately then come together to discuss their responses. and an area to mark a response of “yes,” “no,” or “maybe” to indicate your level of interest in said item. In essence, the yes, no, maybe checklist is a document that contains a list of sexual activities, positions, products, kinks, fetishes, etc. Where do they start? As a sexuality professional, what do you recommend? A fantastic way to start the conversation is by having them complete a “yes, no, maybe” checklist! A client comes to you-they’re looking to add some spice to their sex life.
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